It’s one of those difficult conversations we need to have: are you a workaholic? Confession: I am one, intermittently. Because I enjoy what I do and sometimes I don’t know how to stop.
Maybe some of us work a lot because they have no choice – they must pay overwhelming taxes and fees; others because are passionate and define themselves through full involvement in their work; some people look in their jobs for a way out of something more difficult to accept – loneliness, difficult relationships, depression. Whatever the reason, we are learning to legitimize burnout, caught in a type of Stockholm syndrome. In the last years, we’ve begun to talk almost proudly about how busy we are and how few hours per night we get to sleep. Studies show that in the United States people generally take fewer days off than they could legally enjoy, due to the pressure to be constantly at work. Maybe in Romania things are not the same (we don’t know, we don’t have official data, just the anecdote from the office).
We need free time, mental and physical spaces to place between us and our professional identity, in order to be able, as we do in couple relationships, to breathe outside of these identities and then return with greater energy, a new impulse and creative force. We need to feel competent and find meaning in our work, just as we need vacations. There is no contradiction; as in all other aspects of our minds, balance is the key.
Here are some suggestions to help you create a vacation as friendly as possible to your mind:
- Avoid switching from an insanely busy schedule to time off. Gradually prepare for your holiday, so only the routine tasks would remain for the last two working days before your summer vacation. (Indeed, when possible, and with careful organization, it is possible more often than we realize).
- Before leaving, keep close contact with your colleagues: tell them for how long you will be leaving, what exactly you need them to cover (clear and specific), and plan for unforeseen situations (who will they call if something happens?)
- Once on vacation, do not check your work email or phone. No, the world will not collapse in your absence. People who check their phone outside of working hours have increased levels of stress and family conflicts.
- Spend as much time outside as possible. It doesn’t matter where you are: in the mountains, at the sea, in your hometown. Stay outside to give your mind a restart (our mind has been designed by thousands of years of evolution in relation to open spaces, not the four walls of a room) and to learn how to be more present in your body.
- Find the balance between planning and spontaneity: If you do not tolerate extremely well uncertainty and chaos, you’d better plan the main aspects of your holiday: plane / train tickets, accommodation. But don’t plan everything – leave some room for spontaneity and unstructured time. Otherwise, you’ll risk turning your vacation into a job where you must tick some targets.
- Get enough sleep, open your mind, and relax your body (or teach it again to experience pleasure when faced with physical exertion).
- Remember that happiness and feeling good are not about the extreme emotional intensity. Well-being is also about moments of calm, curiosity, relaxation, joy, gratitude, discovering something new, and sometimes oriental laziness. These are all experiences that you can integrate into your vacation.
