In mid-October, a visit to IKEA made it clear: the almost 2-month Christmas frenzy had begun. And although I was seeing nice objects with positive messages, I couldn’t help but think about the terrible distance between the consumerist festive feeling displayed in shop windows, glitter and all that glam, and the reality experienced by many people in the privacy of their minds.
Winter holidays are a time when our well-being and mental health are more vulnerable. It may seem counterintuitive, but think, for example, how has it been for you over the past few years? What were you expecting from the Christmas break and what were others expecting from you? How did these expectations materialize? Were there tense moments or conflicts, although you were, theoretically, in a pleasant context? How did you feel at the end of that period?
Should we take a closer look, winter holidays, through all the social and cultural expectations communicated directly or indirectly, put quite a lot of pressure on some of us. I know from my psychotherapy practice that this is the time when many people struggle with feelings of depression, frustration, loneliness, helplessness, or the feeling that they are missing out on things. We have almost prescriptive mental blueprints of what Christmas should look like: a warm soft light, lots of people laughing around a lavish table, quiet snow outside, etc. But reality kicks in: for some of us, Christmas is blue.
Data tells us some rather disturbing information: during winter break, there is an increased number of calls to the police reporting domestic violence, as it happens also with emergency services calls (including psychiatric) and requests for psychotherapy (the suicide rate doesn’t actually rise up, as an urban myth says).
Here are some ideas to help you take care of your mind in the coming period:
- Lower your expectations and be more present in the moment. Christmas doesn’t have to be the most beautiful time of the year; we don’t live in an advertising campaign. What exactly do you need on those days off? Maybe calm, maybe meaningful discussions, maybe rest, etc. That’s what matters.
- Don’t spend more than you have – expensive gifts for others or extravagant locations will not make your life better. On the contrary, they will add financial pressure right after the holidays.
- Consume alcohol in moderation. Alcohol will not solve the feeling of isolation or the dissatisfaction you have with your life.
- If it’s the preparations that stress you out, stop and reflect: why do things have to be done a certain way? Why just like that? Maybe they don’t. Not at all.
- Be aware of the conflict potential. Meetings with extended family can also mean reopening old wounds or tensed discussions. If you feel that things are getting tense, stop for a few moments and ask yourself what is more important to you: convincing your uncle of a certain political idea or having a quiet evening? If it’s the latter, take a deep breath and treat things with humor.
